Panties could easily be called underwear. But people call panties panties. It's gross.
Panties are things rapists go after.
"Let me take your panties little girl."
Panties are things adolescent boys look through when the hot neighbor is out of town.
"Hey John let's go panty raid Jess' closet!"
Panties are things Victoria's Secret sells to women.
"You'll be BEAUTIFUL if you wear our new cotton panties! But not underwear. Underwear is ugly."
The dictionary considers panties "legless underpants worn by women and girls."
My mind goes to a very dark place when I imagine women and girls in anything legless, as if a group of women and girls are sitting in a lonely room wearing legless jeans or legless sweatpants.
I looked my dear friend Emily in the eyes and said "panties."
She said she thought of crime scene shows like SVU. A dead chick lies tangled in the gutters of New York and some Law & Order dude says "her panties are gone...rape?" or "her panties are torn...rape?" or "her panties are around her ankles...rape?"
Panties are never clean. They're dirty, dirty things physically and mentally.
If you read this and are still in support of the word panties, you're sick. Sick.
This blog post has changed my life.
ReplyDelete(It has become common habit for me to go straight to your blog after clicking publish on mine...)
Today, my dog destroyed my underwear.
Not my panties.
Because I don't own panties. Because apparently, then I would get raped. Either way, I'm off to buy a rape whistle.
Har. Alexis, this is great fodder for your writing this week. Hilarious.
ReplyDeleteI also find this word disgusting. Especially when people put emphasis on the "t": panTies, or when they say it in a British accent: Pahn-tees.